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Sometimes I dream of being a Democrat.
Life would be so much more
enjoyable.
If I were a Democrat and not a Republican, I wouldn’t have to dread
picking up The New York Times or The Washington Post and reading that I
am a low-life bottom-feeder, a servile lackey of Big Business, eagerly
doing the bidding of Wall Street plutocrats. Turning on the TV, I
wouldn’t have to wait long for the inevitable snarky remarks of the
anchors, transparently hinting at my heartless unconcern for the
travails of the poor and the minorities. I wouldn’t have to listen to
Democratic congressmen denounce me on the floor of the House as a Nazi,
likening my opposition to Obamacare to the Holocaust.
I wish I were a Democrat. I would be able to use any kind of language
with impunity, secure in the knowledge that the mainstream media would
explain away my behavior as the righteous anger and passionate
indignation of a true paladin of progressive causes outraged by the
depredations of evil conservatives. I would be able to permit myself any
gaffe, any lie, no matter how outrageous, knowing full well that the
media would run interference for me, studiously ignoring my faux pas or
dismissing it with an airy “well, he was tired, it was a long day,
everybody is entitled to a mulligan, blah-blah-blah…” or better yet,
brush it aside with an indulgent smile: “Oh, that’s just good old
so-and-so...” Can you imagine a Republican politician surviving the
stupendous gaffes and whoppers produced in extraordinary abundance by
the likes of Joe Biden or Al Gore?
I wish I were a Democrat. I wouldn’t be constrained by my President’s
admonition about the need for civility; it would only be demanded of
Republicans. I wouldn’t be counseled by my allies to ignore all personal
attacks so as not to lower myself to the level of my detractors and
besmirch my credentials. Sarah Palin, we are told, has done herself
incalculable harm in the eyes of the public by responding to the vicious
personal attacks after the Tucson tragedy. Apparently she should have
followed the example of President George W. Bush who never, never ever,
responded to the vitriolic vilification impugning his honor and good
faith.
Fat lot of good his restraint did him! Bush’s stoic silence merely
allowed his opponents to dictate the terms of the political discourse
and define his presidency. By playing into their hands Bush did
considerable damage not just to his own reputation and legacy, but more
broadly to the conservative cause. One is certainly free to behave like
a gentleman in one’s private life, but it is an entirely different thing
to retreat from the field of political battle, yielding it to the
opposition. Even Karl Rove now admits that W’s defensive crouch was a
mistake. As a matter of fact, Sarah Palin was tight-lipped during the
first days following the Tucson tragedy but it did not prevent the left
from mocking her silence as an acknowledgement of guilt. Damned if you
do, damned if you don’t.
For their part, Democrats go ballistic at the slightest provocation with
little concern for PR repercussions. Remember how bitterly President
Clinton complained being at the mercy of Rush Limbaugh. With the world’s
biggest megaphone at his disposal, the President positioned himself as a
helpless victim apparently unconcerned that he would look like a
sniveling wimp to his followers. Somehow Democrats manage to avoid
belittling themselves in the eyes of their supporters; their ratings are
never threatened by whatever they do or say. They are allowed to brawl
and hit their opponents below the belt, while Republicans are expected
to scrupulously abide by the Marquis of Queensberry Rules. As the Romans
used to say: Quod licet Jovi, non licet bovi - what is legitimate for
Jupiter is not legitimate for oxen.
I wish I were a Democrat. I would have the luxury of knowing that I am
on the side of history, as the media tirelessly remind the public. As a
guest on TV shows sitting next to the meekly reasonable Republican, I
would feel free to scowl angrily and launch into indignant tirades,
knowing that my outbursts would be ascribed to my lofty ideals and
bottomless compassion for the downtrodden. How sweet it is to feel
noble, which has the added benefit of allowing me to revel in the
luxuries of life while demanding sacrifice from others. Situational
ethics, they call it. You see, I would feel that by defending the little
man I have earned the right to reward myself. That’s why Al Gore has no
compunction consuming 20 times more electric power in his Tennessee
mansion than an average home-owner; as far as he is concerned, he labors
so mightily for the good of humanity that he feels entitled to a little
extra.
I wish I were a Democrat. Then I would allow myself assorted human
weaknesses that would be strictly a no-no for a Republican. Why such
indulgence? Democrats advocate tolerance as the supreme social value and
claim that their personal indiscretions are their own business, while
Republicans, who are regarded as champions of Puritan values, are
vulnerable to the charge of hypocrisy when caught with their pants down,
as the saying goes. Thus Republican Congressman Mark Foley was widely
ridiculed when his sexually explicit e-mails to Congressional pages
surfaced, while Democratic Congressman Gerry Studds who actually had sex
with an underage Congressional page, delivered a defiant oration in the
well of the House to several standing ovations by his colleagues. Foley
resigned from Congress, while Studds was handily reelected. It appears
that in politics, what’s sauce for the goose is not necessarily sauce
for the gander.
I wish I were a Democrat. Oh, to be totally unaccountable for one’s
failures and
blunders, pleading good intentions as a one-size-fits-all justification.
Small wonder Democrats always talk of their plans for the future, not
the results of their past activities. They never look back for good
reason: how would they explain the endless vista of messes? But for the
media, good intentions are good enough. And so the Democrats are
portrayed as forward-looking, while the Republicans as stuck in the
past.
I wish I were a Democrat. I would really enjoy blanket immunity from any
accusation of racism. The race police steer clear of Democrats, while
ferociously pursuing Republicans and conservatives, ferreting out racist
thought crimes even where the perpetrators are unaware of their criminal
frame of mind. They studiously ignored the fact that the late Senator
Robert Byrd in his youth had been a KKK Grand Kleagle (a kind of
community organizer for the Klan), but woe to any Republican not
watching the tongue. The Democrats are likewise spared the wrath of the
feminists, who reserve all their fire for Republican. Bob Packwood was
hounded out of the Senate for forcing a kiss on a woman, while Ted
Kennedy with his well-known, lurid record as a womanizer was given a
get-out-of-jail-free card by the feminist leaders because he was “good
on women’s issues”. As a matter of fact, so was Packwood, but the latter
had an R behind his name, while Kennedy a D.
The double standard is so blatant that no one bothers to deny its
existence; it is widely viewed as something normal and unavoidable. Even
its victims just shrug helplessly as if to intimate that it is an
immutable law of nature, not a ploy wielded by the left as a political
weapon. Oh, how I wish I were a Democrat - for a little while, just to
find out what it’s like to live on easy street and do whatever one
pleases without fear of accountability. Paraphrasing that memorable line
from the film Love Story, being a Democrat means never having to say you
are sorry.
January, 2011
©V.Volsky
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Victor Volsky - journalist focused on
politics and history. He pays attention to exposure of falsifications
and hypocrisy which quite often prevail in the politician and an
official historiography. Worked for leading Russian publishing houses in
America and on radio station "Voice of America". Now free-lance
journalist. |